Do you feel uncomfortable?

TW: This post talks about some very contentious social issues. If what is going on in the news right now brings up a lot of strong emotions for you, you may want to skip this post.

The world of social media is wild. Suddenly anyone who has access (which virtually means anyone over the age of 13) can tell their world their opinions. On anything. They can ask questions or make declarations, and boom, it's out there.

Gotta love freedom of speech.

But one of the side effects of this access and freedom is that sometimes, people are going to say something you don't agree with. Whether it's about something as innocuous as whether Twilight was actually movie gold or not (not, obvs), or something as triggering as human rights (black lives matter, blue lives matter, MAGA, the LGBTQ+ community, religion...), on a platform that sees about 20% of the world's population, there will be more than a few thoughts on the matter.

When you see something you don't agree with, what happens? Do you feel tense in a particular part of your body? Do you feel nauseous? Is there suddenly this dense ball of blech in the pit of your stomach?

What emotions arise with these physical sensations? Anger? Disgust? Frustration? Amusement? Fear?

What do you think causes these responses?

The immediate response for a lot of people may be, "Well, it's wrong, obviously! It's a disgrace! It's abominable! It's detestable!"

Take a moment, though, to think about it a little more. What about it is wrong? What about it tells you that this statement is just the worst? How do you know it's wrong?

This is the crux of today's post. Something about what was said triggers you, and like a lot of people, you've created these mental shortcuts in your head that attach things like "police brutality" to "bad." (which is 100% valid - there's no reason on earth those two things shouldn't go together). But within these mental shortcuts lies the reasoning behind what got you from point A to point B. It's a whole process of thoughts and ideas that brought you to the conclusion that police brutality is bad.

So what I am suggesting for today, is to think about the path itself, from point A to point B. Where did your position on various issues come from? Why do you believe the way you do? Why did you come to the conclusion that you did and not another one?

In cases where not everyone is on the same page - like with immigration and LGBTQ+ rights - and there are strong emotional responses on both sides, think about the "why" of your position. But also, try to see if you can think about the "why" of the person you're currently arguing with. What is the path from their point A to point B? The only information you have going into it is that they disagree with you, and they may or may not have well-thought-out reasons as to why. But since you are two people, who have value and worth as human beings, and you are interacting with each other, why not try to understand each other? Understand their story, the way they live it.

You may never actually agree with each other, but you can gain some extremely valuable perspective on how another person sees the world. Another precious human being, who has as much inherent worth as you do. You get to understand why there is more than one way to look at the world.

Obviously, it's really exhausting to go through this process with everybody, so pick your battles. But think about it: what might you learn if you take the time to think about the reason for your discomfort and what might be driving someone else's position?

Lemme know your thoughts! I'd love to hear them!

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Disclaimer: I am a graduate student of psychology, and therefore am not a licensed psychologist yet. I am here to offer helpful tidbits about this field I am dedicating my life to, but I should not replace formal education or therapy. If you disagree with something I say, please tell me. Science is a good way to show me I am sharing something inaccurate.

If you need help, please consider speaking to someone. There are many great resources out there, and they genuinely want to help.