ADDRESSING Differences

 

Everybody is different. We know this, it's not news to us. But do you know just how different everyone is?

I want to focus on something that hopefully will shed light on the answer to this question. It's called the ADDRESSING model, created by Pamela Hays (2016), and it highlights several major domains of identity markers that together start to make up who a person is. It's typically used for training therapists to understand differences between themselves and their clients, but it's something that I really, strongly believe needs to be introduced to everyone. We're in an age of embracing diversity, and I think we can go deeper than we have been up to this point.

Listed below are the different domains of the ADDRESSING model (Age, Disability (developmental and acquired), Religion/Spirituality, Ethnicity/Race, Socio-economic Status, Sexual Orientation, Indigenous Heritage, National Origin, and Gender), along with some questions for consideration for each. I want to make it clear that these questions I am asking with each domain are to help you examine the differences that might exist between you and another person, as well as any similarities there might be. These are not perfect questions, and these are not all the questions. Many of the questions I ask are based on my own level of exposure to various aspects of these identity markers. 

Part of the reason we ask these questions is because we can't fully understand someone else's experience without being exposed to it, try as we might to reason our way through it. And because we can't understand, we will mess up and get things wrong from time to time. I will certainly mess up from time to time. It's important to take a stance where you are willing to learn and open to making mistakes that you can correct; you do not want to take a defensive stance where you can't be wrong, or that your view is right no matter how offensive it might come across. That's not helpful. The more you are willing to learn about another person, their experience, their worldview, their perspective, the more enriched your own life will be; and the more you will understand about the incredible nuance in the human experience.

Speaking of nuance, after you think about each of these domains, the next step is thinking about intersectionality (Crenshaw, 1989): how do each of these domains intersect, interact, overlap with each other? Is one more important than another? Are any of them at odds? Do some of them contradict each other? Do any of them compound on each other? Is life a little bit better because you have a minority status in one regard but majority status in others (being a gay white male, for example)? Or are there multiple aspects of life that are subject to discrimination/prejudice because X, Y, and Z are all minority statuses (as a Black trans woman)? Just some food for thought.

One important thing to keep in mind as you read this is the amount of privilege that comes with certain types of identity markers. It is well understood in research - and in experience - that White, heterosexual, middle and upper class, college men are the epitome of privilege (Moradi, 2017), forming the norm in research that all standards seem to be set by. Even when it comes to considering minorities, there's always a certain type of minority that's set as the marker for comparison (Purdie-Vaughns & Eibach, 2008): when looking at racial-ethnic issues, a man from a racial-ethnic minority heterosexual comparison group is the reference point; when examining sexual minority issues, a White gay man is the reference group. So even in these situation, these minorities have more privilege than others in their larger comparison group (sexual minorites, racial-ethnic minories, etc).

I strongly encourage you to look beyond what you always see, what you always recognize as "normal," or "typical," or "average." People who do not comprise the majority of each of these domains in the ADDRESSING model are complete, whole, unique, amazing human beings, and deserve to be understood, cherished, and celebrated. Just because they are fewer in number does not diminish their validity or right to exist as humans.

This is a specific call-out for those who diminish the rights of racial, sexual, and gender minorities in the United States. It should be noted that when these groups of people are studied in scientific, sociological, psychological, and anthropological research, nobody is questioning the validity of their existence; they are merely describing the experiences these people are having. These people experience life in much the same way everyone else does; there are very few day-to-day differences between them and everyone else you know.......except for, you know, the prejudice and discrimination they experience from existing as a non-majority member of the population.

So take some time and think about where you fall in each of these domains. Think about your experiences, and what might be directly impacted as a result of being ______ (male/female/enby/trans, gay/straight/bi/ace, Christian/atheist/spiritual/Muslim) in each domain. And then think about some things that might be different for you versus someone who falls into a different people group - what systems of privilege do you benefit from? What systems of oppression do you suffer from? Which do you unconsciously contribute to?

The ADDRESSING model:

A - Age, and generational influences

    * What is your age? What does it mean to be your age, and how might that impact the way you perceive and are perceived by others? Are you a Boomer, Gen Xer, Millennial, Gen Z-er? How does this affect how you look at the world? What's different in the way you look at the world versus how someone in one of these other generations looks at the world? Why do you think that might be? 

    For the Gen Z-er, what influences your worldview? How do you think our current development as a country affects the conversations you have? Why do you think we are having the conversations we're having now? Why do you think some of these conversations are happening now, versus like, 30 years ago? What were the major dominant worldviews of 30 years ago, and why are they not the same now?

    For the Boomer (previously known as someone from the Baby Boomer Generation), what is your worldview influenced by? You've lived through a lot of changes in the world over the past few decades. What's changed? Why do you think these things have changed? Is it all good? Is it all bad? Do you think there are some things that are very new and very different that are actually worse than they sound? Is it possible that there's some benefit in some of the changes that concern you? How is your own worldview different from your own parents' worldview, when they were your age? What changed between their world and yours? Why do you think those were changes that were made?

    Why do you think the questions I asked each group are different? Why did I not ask the same questions of both of the groups? What might it mean that there are different questions to be asked of each generational group?

D - Developmental disabilities

    * Were you born with a developmental disability (autism; ADHD; intellectual, learning, speech, or hearing disability, etc)? How has that impacted you, growing up? What was different for you that others didn't experience? What systems recognized your disabilities and provided accommodations and other assistances that made your experience easier? What systems ignored or denied your disability and made things more difficult? What did adaptation look like for you? What does it mean to adapt to the world around you? What do you wish you didn't have to adapt to? What experiences of ableism do you experience?

    * Were you born without any disabilities? Can you classify yourself as able-bodied? What does that mean to you? What experiences do you think you take for granted that someone with a disability might only dream of? Where do you think you might have benefited from systems that assume the default is/should be able-bodied? How do you view those around you who do have disabilities? Do you feel like you're allowed to ask questions? Why or why not?

D - Other, acquired disabilities

    * Did something happen to you that has changed the way you live (illness, accident, assault, medical accident/malpractice, chronic pain/illness, decline in functioning (Alzheimer's, dementia))? How has this impacted you? How is life different now, versus before? What does it mean to have an acquired disability? How do you see yourself now? In what ways have you adapted? How have others adapted? How has your worldview changed? In what ways have you seen ableism in your own life?

    * Again, same questions as before: Can you classify yourself as able-bodied? What does that mean to you? What experiences do you think you take for granted that someone with a disability might only dream of? Where do you think you might have benefited from systems that assume the default is/should be able-bodied? How do you view those around you who do have disabilities? Do you feel like you're allowed to ask questions? Why or why not?

R - Religion and spirituality

    * What belief system do you adhere to? What belief system do you not adhere to? How did you come to this belief system? Why is this the one you believe? Do you consider yourself religious, or spiritual, or neither? What does it mean to you to identify as _______ (spiritual, religious, Christian, evangelical, Protestant, Catholic, Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, Hindu, Wiccan, Satanist, etc)? What does this mean for other people who do not adhere to your belief system? What does your belief system say about truth? What metric does your belief system use to determine what is true or not true? Is it a binary system, or is there a spectrum, where some things are more true than others, and less true than other truths?

    * For Christians specifically (because it is the dominant religion in the United States) - what denomination are you? Why that denomination? Have you ever changed denominations? How do you feel about doing that? How do you feel about others who do that? How do you feel about other denominations? How do you feel about those in your own denomination who have different beliefs than you? What do you believe about salvation? Hell? Sin? Marriage? Attending church? How did you come to these beliefs? How do you feel about differences in those beliefs; is it okay to have differences in these beliefs? Why or why not? How do you feel about the fact that there are differences in those beliefs? How do you reconcile the "shoulds" of your doctrine with the realities that exist in disagreement with those shoulds?

E - Ethnicity and racial identity

    * What is your race? What ethnicity do you identify with? Do you see the two as different things? What does it mean if you do? What does it mean if you don't? What does it mean to be (insert race and/or ethnicity here)? What traditions and customs do you observe, related to that race/ethnicity? What celebrations are unique to your race/ethnicity? In contrast, what discrimination/prejudice are you subjected to that seems to be because you are (insert race/ethnicity)? What privileges do you have because of your race/ethnicity that protect you from the discrimination/prejudice that others experience? Why do you think this is?

    For White people, particularly in the United States: What does it mean to you to be White? What privileges do you have that others don't, because you're White? Are you aware of the existence of White privilege? Are you aware of the systemic racism that exists in the United States that privileges White people over other races/ethnicities? Which areas do you recognize: Socio-economic status, education, job opportunities, (mental) healthcare, opinions on causes/tendencies for anger/sadness/laziness/trust/vulnerability/health/weight/motivation/respect?

S - Socioeconomic Status (SES)

    * Would you identify as middle class? Upper class? Working class? Lower class? What has your upbringing been like? How has your experience been different from others around you? What privileges do you have because of your SES that others may not have? What hardships have you experienced because of your SES? How have other parts of life been difficult/easy because of your SES (neighborhood you live in, opportunities you get, school system you attend, meals you get to have, times/places you get to go out to eat, etc). How has this impacted the way you view the world?

S - Sexual Orientation

    * What is your sexual orientation? Are you straight? What does it mean for you to be straight? What privileges do you have because you're straight? How willing are you to listen to those who are not straight? How do you feel about the LGBTQ+ community? How do you feel about their rights? Why do you feel the way you do? How do you think being straight has affected your experience of the world? What privileges do you think you take for granted because you don't have to think about being a sexual minority? Do you recognize the hardships that the LGBTQ+ community goes through on a daily basis?

    * Do you consider yourself not straight? How do you identify? Do you know? Do you think it's okay if you don't know? What does it mean to identify as gay/lesbian/bi/queer/pan/ace/intersex/trans? Have you come out? How do you feel about coming out? Where have you experienced heterosexism in your life? Do you feel comfortable being in public with your partner? How has your mental health suffered because of your sexual minority status? How has the LGBTQ+ community been a source of strength or support for you?

I - Indigenous Heritage

    * Are you a member of an indigenous population? Which one? What are some important aspects of your heritage? What celebrations, traditions, rituals, customs, norms, roles are associated with your heritage that you cherish? How do you feel about the history of your heritage? How do you feel about the current status of your heritage? Do you feel recognized by the majority culture? Do you have the same resources as the majority culture? 

    * For the majority culture: how do you feel about indigenous individuals? How do you feel about the differences in beliefs and customs associated with their culture? Do you have a great-grand relative that was indigenous, making you 25% or less indigenous? If so, do you practice any customs or traditions associated with that heritage? If not, how do you feel about identifying with it? Do you recognize the privilege you inherently have by not identifying directly with the culture?

N - National Origin

    * What country are you from? Is it considered a Western country? If so, what do you think that means for the amount of privilege you have? Is it the United States? What do you think it means to be from a country as prominent as the US? Is it a Western country that is not the US? What does it mean to be from that country? What traditions, customs, beliefs, rules, and systems are associated with your country of origin? How does the rest of the world feel about your country? What does the US feel about your country? How do you feel about the US? Have you moved from one country to another during your life? Multiple countries? How has that impacted the way you look at the world? How has that impacted your own culture?

G - Gender

    * What is your gender? Are you cisgender? Transgender? Non-binary? Gender non-conforming? Somewhere in between or none of the above? Are you questioning your gender identity? Are there aspects of your gender identity that don't completely or cleanly line up with one particular gender? Do you recognize that gender is a social construct? Do you understand it as a separate construct from sex? What sort of privileges do you get with your gender? What sort of prejudices or discrimination do you experience as a result of your gender identity? What do you think life is like for those who are not your gender?

Disclaimer: I am a graduate student of psychology, and therefore am not a licensed psychologist yet. I am here to offer helpful tidbits about this field I am dedicating my life to, but I should not replace formal education or therapy. If you disagree with something I say, please tell me. Science is a good way to show me I am sharing something inaccurate.